On Wood-Chopping (and Flying Pigs)

I was at the Royal Melbourne Show a couple of weeks back and had the opportunity to witness the Grand Final of the Australia Vs. New Zealand Woodchop. Apparently, woodchopping is a well respected sport in certain areas where forestry has traditionally contributed to the local economy. It is also a big deal in certain parts of Canada, the northern US and certain European countries. I must admit that it was the first I'd heard of it.

As you might imagine, wood-chopping basically involves a group of skilled contestants who compete to be the first to either chop or saw their way through a log or block of wood. There are lots of different variations on and permutations of this basic principle. Uninteresting as that may sound, it is actually very impressive to watch.

There are four main categories in a wood chopping contest:

First off, you have the two-handed saw where several two-member teams attempt to be the first to saw through a log of wood using a long pull saw.
A third guy stands off to the left and shouts encouragement and when the saw reaches a certain depth, rams a small wedge into the opening to keep the cut from closing up and jamming the saw. Many wood chopping events are handicap events, where the axemen start at different times, depending how fast they are expected to chop through the log. So, you have about eight of these teams lined up ready to saw. The announcer begins to count from one and the teams begin to saw when he reaches their respective number. At the wood chop stage some individuals were so good that they wouldn't begin chopping until the announcer had reached 29 and then go on to be the first to fell the log. The handicaps were not as severe at the two-handed saw event as the whole thing is over quite quickly. The winning team on this day sawed through the log in 17.6 seconds. It seems to be primarily a male-dominated sport although one husband and wife team placed admirably.

Standing Block appears to be the most common of the categories with new competitions beginning almost every 20minutes. This is where the axeman stands and swings at a log level with his shoulders. Again, 8 contestants are lined up each at their own log waiting for the announcer to reach their number. They pull back for the swing a second before their number so that just as they are given permission to start, their axe strikes the log for the first time.
Prior to the event the axemen take every precaution to ensure that they do not lose one valuable second. They chalk rough marks on the log to guide their blows and often also their handicap number. Their axe heads are sprayed with a lubricant to prevent sticking in those first three crucial blows.

The logs are are all of a uniform thickness and are mounted in metal vice-like stands. Nails are hammered into the top of the logs to prevent "slabbing" where an entire wedge of wood separates from the log right to the top, which can lead to disqualification.
Once the chopping starts, the whole thing is usually over within a minute. While there is undeniably a strong emphasis on brute strength the skill and precision with which the blows are made are invariably what distinguishes the winner. They attack one side of the log first. Striking the log at 45 angles, first from the bottom and then from the top, every second blow removes a huge wedge of wood amid a shower of splinters. When they reach the mid-point they turn around and proceed to attack the other side in a similar fashion until finally the top of the log comes toppling down.
It's quite a scary experience standing only 6 feet behind these guys when they're in full attack mode. One can't help but think that if one of them just lost his grip for an instant some poor spectator would be struck dead on the spot, but the organisers didn't seem too concerned so I guess it probably doesn't happen all that often. In fact, as far as dangerous events go, the standing block and the two-handed saw were probably the safest of the categories.
Underhand, where the log is horizontal, and the axeman stands on it, swinging the axe between his feet looks as criminally unsound an idea as it reads. The horizontal log is fixed in metal bracket on the ground and as with the standing block, nails are hammered into the ends to prevent "slabbing." With the underhand the axeman, prior to the competition beginning, must cut himself footholds into the top of the log so that he can stand astride it without losing his balance mid-blow. A further example of the axeman's skill is shown in this prep work as he quickly and efficiently whittles two perfectly flat footholds. One gets the feeling that if you gave these guys a sequoia and an axe they'd hand you fully functional viking ship a week later.
The principle is pretty much the same as the standing block. They work one side and then the other until finally the log collapses under them. Crucially though, this time they're chopping very close to their feet. I'm sure it works an entirely different set of muscles and proves a different strength and skill set, but as a uninitiated observer the proximity to the feet was what really concerned me.

However, once again nothing went wrong so I guess they know what they're up to. They also had a strong man variation on the underhand where the winner was the one who could chop through the log in the fewest number of blows within 2 minutes. The axe had to weigh less than 3kg and not be more than 180mm thick. After the first two contestants took 26 to break the log, one would have thought that the third would have been happy with his result of 23. However, he was visibly annoyed as he probably could have done it in 22 if his penultimate hit had been made with just a touch more force. The fourth guy (and reigning champion) didn't make the same mistake. He split his in 22 and took home the golden axe. I spotted the guy who came second after the awards ceremony scrunching up his 2nd place ribbon and throwing it in the bin. These guys take this stuff seriously.
Each of the axemen has a metal case in which he has at least four if not five axes. They have one which is used exclusively for banging nails into the log, another for whittling etc. Their chopping axes are polished to a high finish and are not used for anything else. I watched a guy who hit a nail during the strong man underhand step off the log and not bother finishing because the axe was now effectively useless.

If the underhand looked kind of dangerous then the final category, Tree Felling, looked outright demented. Tree felling is where the block to be cut is vertical, but on top of a 16ft pole, so the axeman must first position some planks (usually three) in narrow cuts made in the pole, climb and stand on the highest plank whilst chopping through the log. It breaks down like this:

A log similar to that used in the standing block is affixed to the top of a 16ft pole earlier in the day. Then, when the contestants are allowed to start they take their axe and make a cut in the wood about 4ft off the ground. Into this cut they then place the end of what looks like a steel capped ski. The axeman sticks his axe into the tree above him, climbs onto the ski with two more skis in his arms, puts them at his feet, grabs the axe and makes another cut another 4ft up. He then takes another ski, slots it in and climbs up again. After doing this three times he finds himself at the top of the pole with the standing block at shoulder height and begins chopping through it. Once he is halfway through, he climbs down taking the skis with him and repeats the whole process on the other side the tree so that he can now chop the log from the other side. Finally, the log comes crashing down.

Needless to say, the whole thing sounds like a pretty comprehensive collection of things I was always told NOT to do with an axe and it's mind-boggling to think that not only did none of the contestants wind up paralyzed or dismembered but in fact they all finished the task within 4 minutes.

Competitions in each of these categories were held separately but they also held combination relays culminating finally in a great three-part race which had one guy on standing block, one on underhand and another on tree felling. When one had finished his task the next guy could begin his. I didn't hear the final time for this three-parter but it couldn't have been more than 6 minutes or so.

So, that's about I'll I have to say on woodchopping. Now, for all those who waded through that on the promise of flying pigs:

Strictly speaking they weren't actually flying (there's actually no such thing as flying pigs) but rather (as Woody would would say) falling with style.

They were billed as racing and diving pigs and they did just that. In fact they are the only racing and diving pigs working in Australia today by all accounts. They raced around a small track twice jumping over hurdles on the second go. Finally two of them climbed up a metal walkway and jumped into a pool of water before clambering out to get

their reward.

The new cat in town

Last week we went back to the shelter and got a new cat. We named him Link after seeing the movie Hairspray (one of the characters is called Link, and it seemed a good name for a cat). He's an incredibly friendly cat, to the point of being a nuisance. He always wants to be in someone's lap, purring,or rubbing himself around your legs. He loves being with us, and if we shut him out of a room we're in he yowls until he's let in. Which is kind of sweet and kind of annoying. He's a very good cat to read a book or watch a movie with, as he purrs quietly on your lap. He's not a great cat to do work on a laptop with, as he still wants to be purring on your lap.

When we got him home, we got him a bit settled and then went out to get a pizza. We'd shut the living room door, and all the windows were closed. So we were more than a little surprised when we got back and he was nowhere to be found. We looked under the couch, under the coffee table, in the cabinets, but he wasn't anywhere. It's a fairly small room, and he had no access to the rest of the apartment.

We then heard rustlings in the chimney, and bits of soot started falling down. How he'd managed to get up there is anyone's guess. He was so far up that only the tip of his tail was reachable when Leslie stuck his arm up as far as it would go. He had no choice but to yank on the tail, and the cat came back down. Les felt bad about pulling our new cat's tale, but he had no choice - there seemed no other way to get the cat back down.

This cat is trouble, to be sure. With Jazz, we could leave food on the table and he'd never touch it. Link tries to snatch it while we're eating. He has a playful and bold personality, always up for a bit of adventuring.

And he thanks my parents for sending us a big box - it's his new hideaway.